Snarky, Self-Effacing Blog Title

Today I woke up in my bed with gum stuck in my hair

I tripped and fell and stubbed my toe upon the bottom stair

I brushed my teeth and dripped the paste

My hands seem to have been replaced

With mittens, as I cannot seem to operate my underwear.

I’m late for work; the bus is always prompt in its arrival

But sleeping is so necessary for my own survival

I hit the snooze alarm and dozed

A few too many, I suppose

The clock was once my friend but it has since become my rival.

Here is a thing I want:

ONE GALLON MEADERY with HONEY $49.95
     Of all the crafts of mankind, mead making is most certainly the oldest. Every civilization has lore and myths associated with the consumption of mead. You to can enjoy the world’s oldest adult beverage. This kit contains everything you need to make traditional mead including the honey.
     The included book, The Complete Mead Maker, gives recipes and instructions for all mead types. It also contains the origins, history and lore of mead. The recipes are in easy to follow one gallon batches. Package includes 2 gl. fermenter, 1 gl. glass carboy, air lock & stopper, siphon, corks & corker, chemicals & wine yeast, 3 lb. pure honey.

http://www.leeners.com/meadery.html

I remember saying "once the summer comes, I’ll have gobs of time for all sorts of fun-having!"

Gah.

When did June officially become the overextended month?  I have been the sh***iest friend ever, skipping birthday parties and performances because I’m running around going to other birthday parties and weddings and picking up 18,000 BTU air conditioners for the theatre.  If only I didn’t have this job………

mm.  Yes.  That thing that pays my bills.

We’re considering eliminating that in ‘08.  Tuckaberry still has to have its board meeting, (July 6, 7:00 PM for all of you who’d like to attend) at which we will be approving the budget.  That budget will determine whether or not I may finally pay myself a teensy salary for working. 

Which means I quit this job and work full time on that thing I do. 

Terror.

In the meantime, I have started THIS.

It’s a work in process, just like me.  Feel free to give feedback, including "I never gave you permission to post my headless body on the internet.  Take it off!"

My Unsolicited Opinion

Yes, the media is stoopid.

Yes, the justice system is whack.

Nothing that has happened in the last few days has done anything to prove what we didn’t already know (remember OJ?).

Being a celebrity doesn’t make a person more likely to receive preferential treatment; if anything they’re more likely to be trounced so that they can serve as an ‘example’ to teach all the gawking, drooling minty-skinned TMZ watchers out there not to drink and drive, or drive without a license.

But that’s not what the gawkers are doing.  Learning, I mean.  Instead, they’re getting very angry.  They’re angry because if *they* were filthy stinking rich, they would *never* become spoiled or spoil their children.  Just give us a few billion dollars and we’ll prove it to you!  Please? 

Friends of mine, people whose opinions I respect, are rising up in indignant protest of the unholy Paris and the evile system that has created her.  Now, I agree that she’s unholy and the system is evile, but the result is a terrifying case of mass schadenfreude.  If these were biblical times, she would be stoned to death, and it pains me to know that people I love might be among those hurling the rocks.  It’s enough to make a fairy get off her cattail and want to write a blog about it.

Enough!  Put down your stones!  Get off your high horse and tell Trent and Perez and TMZ to quit spending so much freaking webspace on one delinquent driver and get back to some serious celebrity blogging: I am *desperate* to know what is happening with Mary Kate, Lindsay, and Britney!!!!!

Thank  you.

Embedding photos is a pain, and I’m not doing it twice.  To see the picture story, go here:

http://dametuckaberry.livejournal.com/10313.html